von von coq a vin von von.

values morals beliefs and the like.

one of my closest friends is not a christian. i’ve known her since elementary school when we were just mere lumps of clay, happy and innocent. we weren’t really good friends until HS even though we went to completely different schools. she wanted to act, and i wanted to make my parents happy. we grew up together through letters, emails, and, later on to actually hanging out on a regular basis. she traveled, i stayed at home. she wrote me letters that required more than 2 postage stamps, and i read them, wishing i could fight her battles. i grew up strong and stubborn, silent but angry. and she was searching always, for something. i searched too, but not too avidly. i was taught that i am all i need. she stayed at my house, summers at home. as we got older, she encouraged me to travel and roam and experience life. and..i guess i did just that. then, i told her i started going to church. met God. love God. live for..strive to live for Him. she went 0.0 and then -_- followed by, different strokes for different folks. i talked to her about how He comforted me, raised me, shaped me. about sexual morality-our biggest issue to date. and to be honest, i don’t give a flying fuck. she doesn’t believe in God, but she will pray for me. she doesn’t understand my struggle to be obedient, but she doesn’t have to. she doesn’t believe in premarital sex, monogamy, etc, but she supports me and listens to me. love is ironic and contradictory. it’s saying one thing and doing another. she laughs at me, loves me, annoys me, feeds me, and knows exactly what i need when im inconsolable- gift cards. we slap couches, crab walk, argue with each other. we’ve stopped talking for months at a time, lived completely apart and different lives. but she’s still my ride or die. from 2000 miles away. <3

be about it.

it’s like someone ate all the fruit loops in my bowl of cereal. and my milk is angry.

relativity.

someone i really cared for..or rather, someone who really cared for me passed away recently. she was a big part of my transition into being a grown-up, which to be honest, only happened in the past 3 years. she was the grandmother i wish i had, and the best friend that i couldn’t find in any class. we never got to do so many things together. but she always took me to saks for my birthday, birthday cards with money, and christmas presents. she gave me tissues when i couldn’t pretend anymore, and she cried with me because she hurt too. she gave me strong words and encouraged me with her strength. i never loved her as well as she loved me, and i will always regret that. because in my mind, people don’t die and disappear. i remember getting her was peonies one summer. “these are my favorite flowers,” she said. and somehow they became mine as well.

i love you, dora. thank you for all everything that i didn’t miss until now.

When you finally get settled into bed

whatshouldwecallme:

But then it’s just like:

STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!